I never liked leadership positions. I never liked it when I have to lead people or whenever I am put in charge of something. I never liked responsibility not because I'm irresponsible but because I know I can never fulfill it.
Responsibility is commitment. To take responsibility, to accept it is to commit. To commit, for me, is to fail.
Why? Because I've never been a good decision maker and I've never been a good leader. I know I am not a good leader. I lack the capabilities. I lack the skills. I lack the essential elements to become an effective leader.
For one, I can be hard and mean when I am given the authority. I want a system, I want order, I want discipline. I want rules to be followed and I want to impose whatever punishment is necessary when the rules are violated. This I do, please take note, without any emotional attachment at all.
I guess I never had the head nor the heart of a leader.
I am not compassionate. I am not even emotional.
I am ruthless. I am cruel. I am demanding.
Would you want me to lead you?
Certainly not.
I hate being a leader because oftentimes, I hurt the people I cared for the most in my attempt to fulfill my duty and impose discipline. Why is it that when you want everything to go as it should, when you want so bad to have order and discipline, you hurt a lot of people in the process?
Sometimes, without meaning to, you step on people so you could enforce what you think is right. Sometimes, you have to hurt those you love just so the group could achieve its goal.
Sometimes, you have to let go of the people who has been very important to you because you know that they have be let go in order for the organization to be effective.
When you are a leader, you have to make grave decisions. Sometimes, the people around you do not understand why you have to or why they have to follow. Sometimes, you don't even know if you really have to but you have to go on because you don't know what else to do.
Most of the times, I don't know what I'm doing. Most of the times, I don't know if letting them is more effective than reprimanding them. And a lot of times I find myself wondering that maybe hanging them is really the most effective option of all.
When you're a leader, you have to be tough even when you are feeling weak. When you're a leader you have to be smart even if you are not. When you're a leader you have to be good even if you don't know how.
I don't know how to lead. Many times I've been made a leader and many times I tried to be a good leader but always, I fail.
I don't know how to lead because I don't know how to follow.
The irony of it is that, I want the rules followed when I don't even like rules myself.
Rules are like prison bars to me. I never liked it but I have to follow and I always think that nothing could ever go wrong if only people will follow the rules (myself included).
I don''t like being a leader because I am not sure I was ever meant to be.
Responsibility is commitment. To take responsibility, to accept it is to commit. To commit, for me, is to fail.
Why? Because I've never been a good decision maker and I've never been a good leader. I know I am not a good leader. I lack the capabilities. I lack the skills. I lack the essential elements to become an effective leader.
For one, I can be hard and mean when I am given the authority. I want a system, I want order, I want discipline. I want rules to be followed and I want to impose whatever punishment is necessary when the rules are violated. This I do, please take note, without any emotional attachment at all.
I guess I never had the head nor the heart of a leader.
I am not compassionate. I am not even emotional.
I am ruthless. I am cruel. I am demanding.
Would you want me to lead you?
Certainly not.
I hate being a leader because oftentimes, I hurt the people I cared for the most in my attempt to fulfill my duty and impose discipline. Why is it that when you want everything to go as it should, when you want so bad to have order and discipline, you hurt a lot of people in the process?
Sometimes, without meaning to, you step on people so you could enforce what you think is right. Sometimes, you have to hurt those you love just so the group could achieve its goal.
Sometimes, you have to let go of the people who has been very important to you because you know that they have be let go in order for the organization to be effective.
When you are a leader, you have to make grave decisions. Sometimes, the people around you do not understand why you have to or why they have to follow. Sometimes, you don't even know if you really have to but you have to go on because you don't know what else to do.
Most of the times, I don't know what I'm doing. Most of the times, I don't know if letting them is more effective than reprimanding them. And a lot of times I find myself wondering that maybe hanging them is really the most effective option of all.
When you're a leader, you have to be tough even when you are feeling weak. When you're a leader you have to be smart even if you are not. When you're a leader you have to be good even if you don't know how.
I don't know how to lead. Many times I've been made a leader and many times I tried to be a good leader but always, I fail.
I don't know how to lead because I don't know how to follow.
The irony of it is that, I want the rules followed when I don't even like rules myself.
Rules are like prison bars to me. I never liked it but I have to follow and I always think that nothing could ever go wrong if only people will follow the rules (myself included).
I don''t like being a leader because I am not sure I was ever meant to be.
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